May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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