nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We left the knife in your bed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
