I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
