help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
