All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I could fuck to npr.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
