Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
