glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
