I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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