If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i now understand why vodka
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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