Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
tell me about the fingering
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