He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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