This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
