She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
