I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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