He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
