my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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