Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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