the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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