you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
