You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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