Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
