just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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