idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
