used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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