I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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