I am spending my child support on dildos
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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