he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
