i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
