The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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