Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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