She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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