and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
