You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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