she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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