Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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