I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
