I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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