This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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