3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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