You're completely useless in the revolution.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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