Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
