And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
