Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you win again, gameday.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
