It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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