I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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