its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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