so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
