he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
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He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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