Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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