How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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