great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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