im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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