I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
