we're chasing vodka with high fives
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
