What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
