Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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