Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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