Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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