please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
