She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
