I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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