Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
