so let's talk penis.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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