something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
