I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In America we eat man semen.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
